Recipes - Darla

A great season for Salads and barbecue.  
Pinto,Black, Red Bean Salad
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/pinto-black-red-bean-salad-50400000121366/

Lemony Grilled Potato Salad
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/lemony-grilled-potato-salad-50400000121363/

Thai Steak Salad
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/thai-steak-salad-50400000121374/

Hoisin Peanut Lettuce Wraps
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/hoisin-peanut-lettuce-wraps-50400000121404/

Spicy Moroccan Chicken Skewers http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/spicy-moroccan-chicken-skewers-50400000121410/

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - Betty Smith

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Such a great book about a time gone by. Makes me nostalgic for my childhood in small town America and for the stories passed down from my grandmother.

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Recipes - Nathan

Citrus-Marinated Tofu with Onions and Peppers:

Wasabi Salmon with Bok Choy, Green Cabbage, and Shiitakes:

Tex Mex Rice bowl

With: avocado butter lettuce salad

Steak house pizza

Found this recipe in bon-appetit if you want to try it or just buy dough at store. No-Knead Pizza Dough:

Mrs Kennedy & Me - Chris Hill

Mrs. Kennedy and Me: An Intimate Memoir by Clint Hill
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Clint Hill's memoir of the time he spent as Jackie Kennedy's secret service agent was so interesting.  He did not have a single harsh word to say about "Mrs. Kennedy" or the Kennedy clan.  Highly recommend.  Lots of insight into the lifestyle of the Kennedy's.

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Blue Nights - Joan Didion

Blue Nights by Joan Didion

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Brilliant writer.  Sad memoir.  Joan Didion had a charmed life until she lost her husband and daughter within a very short time.  This is the story of the loss of her daughter, lots of interesting anecdotes.



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Weekly recipes - Jill

Some tasty looking recipes...you know I like my breakfast type items too! :) ---- no not just cold cereal.  Jill
Numero Uno: 
Carrot Cake pancakes - what?? but soooo many people like them...
http://smittenkitchen.com/2012/03/carrot-cake-pancakes/

Numero Dos:

Asparagus Pesto Grilled Cheese Sandwich by Kevin of Closet Cooking

1 tablespoon butter
2 slices whole grain bread, very lightly toasted
2 slices Wisconsin Gruyère
2 tablespoons asparagus pesto (see below)

Heat a pan over a-little-below-medium heat. Butter one side of each piece of bread.

Place one slice, butter side down, in the pan, top with the cheese, pesto and the remaining slice of bread, butter side up. Grill until the cheese has melted and the bread is golden brown on both sides, about 2-4 minutes per side.

Asparagus Pesto

1 cup asparagus, blanched
1/2 cup baby spinach
1 clove garlic
2 tablespoons pine nuts, toasted
4 tablespoons Wisconsin Parmesan, grated
3 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 lemon, zest and juice
Salt and pepper to taste

Place everything into a food processor and puree.

Numero Tres

Burgers and Fries with a Twist! -- Chicken parmesan burgers and shoestring zucchini fries
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/menu/views/dinnerrush0302

Numero Quatro
Oven Roasted Salmon, Asparagus, and new potatoes... always a fav
http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/oven-roasted_salmon_asparagus_and_new_potatoes/

Weekly Recipes

Steamed Egg (Shawan Mushi)

Ingredients

• 2 eggs
• 1 cup cooled chicken or fish stock
• 1 dash sake
• 1/2 teaspoon soy sauce
• 1/2 cup chopped cooked chicken breast meat
• 1 shiitake mushroom, sliced into strips
• 2 sprigs fresh parsley, for garnish

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, whisk eggs gently while slowly pouring in the chicken stock, sake, and soy sauce. Divide the mushroom and chicken evenly between two small tea cups. Pour the egg mixture into each cup until filled.
2. Bring about 1 inch of water to a boil in a steamer or saucepan. Reduce heat to a simmer, and place cups into the steamer. Cover, and steam for 12 minutes, or until egg is firm but soft and silky like tofu. Garnish each cup with a sprig of parsley, and serve.

Broccoli and Goat Cheese Quiche
1 pie crust
2 cups broccoli, cut into 1/2-inch florets
3/4 cup cream
1/2 cup milk
2 large eggs
Freshly grated nutmeg
2 ounces soft goat cheese
Salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Roll out dough on lightly floured work surface and press into 9-inch tart pan. Trim edges of crust. Line crust with parchment paper and weigh down with pie weights or dried beans. Bake 20 minutes. Remove parchment and pie weights and set crust aside.

Blanch broccoli in 2 quarts of boiling, salted water until tender, about 4 minutes. Plunge into an ice bath and, once cool, drain and pat dry with paper towels.

In a medium bowl, whisk together cream, milk, eggs, nutmeg, and a pinch of salt and pepper.

Line crust with broccoli and goat cheese. Pour custard over all, filling crust almost to top. Place on a rimmed baking sheet, and bake until a knife inserted into the custard comes out clean, about 30 to 35 minutes. Let cool on a wire rack.

Slice quiche into wedges and serve warm, room temperature or cold.

Serves 6

Nutritional information per serving
Calories: 271; total fat: 18g; cholesterol: 133mg; sodium (not including additional seasoning): 88mg; carbohydrate: 20g; total dietary fiber: 2g; protein: 9g 

Guinness Corned Beef

Notes:  Use spice packet, don't rinse beef, cover with guinness.

Ingredients

• 4 pounds corned beef brisket
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle Irish stout beer (e.g. Guinness®)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Rinse the beef completely and pat dry.
2. Place the brisket on rack in a roasting pan or Dutch oven. Rub the brown sugar on the corned beef to coat entire beef, including the bottom. Pour the bottle of stout beer around, and gently over the beef to wet the sugar.
3. Cover, and place in preheated oven. Bake for 2 1/2 hours. Allow to rest 5 minutes before slicing.

Chicken Piccata

Ingredients

• 2 skinless and boneless chicken breasts, butterflied and then cut in half
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• All-purpose flour, for dredging
• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
• 1/2 cup chicken stock
• 1/4 cup brined capers, rinsed
• 1/3 cup fresh parsley, chopped

Directions

Season chicken with salt and pepper. Dredge chicken in flour and shake off excess.

In a large skillet over medium high heat, melt 2 tablespoons of butter with 3 tablespoons olive oil. When butter and oil start to sizzle, add 2 pieces of chicken and cook for 3 minutes. When chicken is browned, flip and cook other side for 3 minutes. Remove and transfer to plate. Melt 2 more tablespoons butter and add another 2 tablespoons olive oil. When butter and oil start to sizzle, add the other 2 pieces of chicken and brown both sides in same manner. Remove pan from heat and add chicken to the plate.

Into the pan add the lemon juice, stock and capers. Return to stove and bring to boil, scraping up brown bits from the pan for extra flavor. Check for seasoning. Return all the chicken to the pan and simmer for 5 minutes. Remove chicken to platter. Add remaining 2 tablespoons butter to sauce and whisk vigorously. Pour sauce over chicken and garnish with parsley.

Italian Sausage Soup

Ingredients

• 1 pound Italian sausage
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 2 (14 ounce) cans beef broth
• 1 (14.5 ounce) can Italian-style stewed tomatoes
• 1 cup sliced carrots
• 1 (14.5 ounce) can great Northern beans, undrained
• 2 small zucchini, cubed
• 2 cups spinach - packed, rinsed and torn
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon salt

Directions

1. In a stockpot or Dutch oven, brown sausage with garlic. Stir in broth, tomatoes and carrots, and season with salt and pepper. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer 15 minutes.
2. Stir in beans with liquid and zucchini. Cover, and simmer another 15 minutes, or until zucchini is tender.
3. Remove from heat, and add spinach. Replace lid allowing the heat from the soup to cook the spinach leaves. Soup is ready to serve after 5 minutes.

The Best Beef with Broccoli Stir-fry

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons cornstarch, divided
• ½ cup water, plus
• 2 tablespoons water, divided
• ½ teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 lb boneless round steak or 1 lb charcoal chuck steaks, cut into thin 3-inch strips
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil, divided
• 4 cups broccoli florets
• 1 small onions, cut into wedges
• ¹⁄₃; cup soy sauce
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• hot cooked rice

Directions

1. In a bowl, combine 2 tablespoons cornstarch, 2 tablespoons water and garlic powder until smooth.
2. Add beef and toss.
3. In a large skillet or wok over medium high heat, stir-fry beef in 1 tablespoon oil until beef reaches desired doneness; remove and keep warm.
4. Stir-fry broccoli and onion in remaining oil for 4-5 minutes.
5. Return beef to pan.
6. Combine soy sauce, brown sugar, ginger and remaining cornstarch and water until smooth; add to the pan.
7. Cook and stir for 2 minutes.
8. Serve over rice.
   
   

The Death Cure - James Dashner

The Death Cure by James Dashner
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As usual, the author was unable to keep up the pace for the third book.  It felt like it was written as a screenplay.  Thomas continues to rebel against WICKED, escapes and then returns to headquarters.  At least it wrapped up pretty well.


View all my reviews

Divergent - Veronica Roth

Divergent by Veronica Roth
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Love these young-adult dystopian novels. On everyone's 16th birthday they are tested to determine what 'sect' they belong in based on their temperment. Love the descriptions of each type: Dauntless, Amity, Erudite, Candor, and Abnigation. Fascinating. Of course, one of the sects tries to take over. Fun.

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Scorpio Races - Maggie Stiefvater

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Who knew there were Scottish mythological Water Horses? Fun read. Killer water horses, love story, what else could one want?

View all my reviews

Recipes - Nathan

Tomato Basil Soup
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/tomato-basil-soup-50400000119662/

Steak House Side Mac and Cheese
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/steak-house-side-mac-cheese-50400000119677/print/

Chicken and Waffle Sandwiches
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/chicken-waffle-sandwiches-50400000117834/

Black Beans and Rice with Chicken and Apple Salsa
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Black-Beans-and-Rice-with-Chicken-and-Apple-Salsa-378344

Mexican Pizza
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/mexican-pizza-10000000577206/

Garlic-Rosemary Lamb Pita
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/garlic-rosemary-lamb-pita-10000000577224/

Curried Couscous with Broccoli Feta
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/curried-couscous-with-broccoli-feta-10000000577218/

Chinese Hotpot of Beef and Vegetables
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/chinese-hot-pot-of-beef-vegetables-10000000521596/

So Much For That - Lionel Shriver

So Much for That by Lionel Shriver
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This authored tried way too hard. Too many themes, too much alliteration, unlikable characters, a completely unbelievable story. Definitely not my cup of tea.

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The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have never read anything like this before. Incredibly imaginative. Set at the turn of the 20th century, it it the story of a circus like you've never seen, and all the people behind it. Must read!

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Weekly Recipes

Beef Tenderloin Steaks with Balsamic Green Beans
Green Curry Chicken
Rosemary Chicken & Spinach Panini
Tex Mex Beef Tacos
Sauteed Tilapia with Honey Scallion Dressing

The Speckled Monster - Jennifer Lee Carrell

Terrific story of finding the cure for small pox. Almost reduced to 4 stars because it took me so long to finish it but overall this is a must read for people who like history. Read like a novel.

The Scorch Trials- James Dashner

The Scorch Trials by James Dashner
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Entertaining. Reminiscent of Hunger Games but not quite as good.

View all my reviews

Mink River - Brian Doyle

Entertaining. Reminiscent of hunger Games but not unite as good.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Great story, Time travel, Wales, awesome incorporation of found photos into a story. Must read.

View all my reviews

Never Let Me Go -Kazuo Ishiguro (Book group)

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Excrutiatingly boring. This book had a couple of the right elements: sci-fi, British boarding school. First person, minute by minute narrative. Didn't like the characters. Would not recommend.

View all my reviews

Weekly recipes

Lemon-Cilantro Chicken
Prep and cook time: About 15 minutes Ingredients:
4 boneless skinless chicken breast halves (5 to 6 oz. each)
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons olive oil
1 teaspoon olive oil
2 garlic cloves , peeled and minced
2/3 cup chicken broth (skim off fat)
1 teaspoon lemon peel , grated
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (original recipe lists as hot chile flakes)
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro , chopped
 salt and pepper lemon wedge

Directions:
BASIC CHICKEN SCALOPPINE (first three ingredients).
 Rinse 4 boneless, skinned chicken breast halves (5 to 6 oz. each); pat dry. Sprinkle both sides lightly with salt and pepper. Place halves between sheets of plastic wrap; with a mallet or a rolling pin, gently pound chicken to an even 1/4 inch thick. Peel off wrap. Put about 1/2 cup all-purpose flour in a shallow container. Turn each piece of chicken in flour to coat lightly. Set a 10- to 12-inch nonstick pan over medium-high heat; when hot, add 2 teaspoons olive oil. Lay 2 pieces of chicken in pan; cook, turning once, until no longer pink in the center (cut to test), 4 to 6 minutes. Transfer to a platter or plates and keep warm in a 200° oven. Repeat to cook remaining chicken in 2 more teaspoons oil.

LEMON-CILANTRO CHICKEN SCALOPPINE (last 9 ingredients). You'll need to use the Basic Chicken Scaloppine (see above) and then continue with remaining directions below. Keep basic chicken scaloppine warm in a 200° oven. Add olive oil and garlic to hot pan used to cook chicken (don't wash) and stir over high heat until garlic is slightly limp, about 15 seconds. Add chicken broth, lemon peel, lemon juice, and chile flakes to pan; stir until mixture is boiling. Boil, stirring occasionally, until juices are slightly reduced, 1 to 1 1/2 minutes, then stir in fresh cilantro. Spoon sauce evenly over chicken. Add salt and pepper to taste, and garnish with lemon wedges.

Quick Pastitsio
Use any short pasta--ziti or rotini also work.
Ingredients
8 ounces uncooked penne (tube-shaped pasta)
Cooking spray
1 pound ground sirloin
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
5 garlic cloves, minced
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
2 cups fat-free milk
1 (14.5-ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained
1/2 cup (4 ounces)
1/3-less-fat cream cheese
1 (3-ounce) package fat-free cream cheese
3/4 cup (3 ounces) shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

Preparation
 1. Preheat broiler.
 2. Cook pasta according to package directions, omitting salt and fat. Drain.
 3. Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Coat pan with cooking spray. Add beef to pan; sauté 5 minutes or until browned, stirring to crumble. Remove beef from pan; drain. Wipe pan clean with paper towels. Add oil to pan; swirl to coat. Add onion; sauté 4 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add garlic; sauté 1 minute, stirring constantly. Add beef; sprinkle with salt. Add flour; cook 1 minute, stirring frequently. Stir in milk, tomatoes, and cream cheeses, stirring until smooth; bring to a simmer. Cook 2 minutes or until thoroughly heated. Stir in pasta.
 4. Spoon pasta mixture into a 13 x 9-inch broiler-safe baking dish coated with cooking spray. Sprinkle mozzarella evenly over top. Broil 4 minutes or until golden. Sprinkle with parsley.

Bacon, Tomato, and Arugula Pizza
Ingredients
1 pound refrigerated fresh pizza dough
Cooking spray
5 applewood-smoked bacon slices
2 cups grape tomatoes, halved lengthwise
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1 tablespoon yellow cornmeal
1/2 cup lower-sodium marinara sauce (such as McCutcheon's)
3/4 cup (3 ounces) shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
1 cup baby arugula
1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 teaspoon white wine vinegar

Preparation
 1. Preheat oven to 450°
 2. Place dough in a bowl coated with cooking spray; let dough stand, covered, for 15 minutes
 3. Cook bacon in a skillet over medium heat until crisp. Remove bacon; crumble. Add tomatoes and pepper to drippings in pan; cook 2 minutes, stirring occasionally.
 4. Sprinkle a baking sheet with cornmeal; roll dough into a 12-inch circle on prepared baking sheet. Spread sauce evenly over dough, leaving a 1/2-inch border. Top with tomatoes and bacon. Sprinkle cheese over top. Bake at 450° on bottom oven rack for 17 minutes or until crust is golden. Combine arugula and remaining ingredients; top pizza with arugula mixture.

Skillet Baked Eggs with Mushrooms and Spinach
16 ounces fresh baby spinach or 1 (12-ounce) bag thawed frozen leaf spinach
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 onion, preferably Vidalia, finely chopped
6 ounces mixed mushrooms (such as cremini, chanterelle, morel, shiitake, and white button), thinly sliced
1 clove garlic, very finely chopped
1/3 cup heavy cream
1/8 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg Coarse salt and freshly ground black pepper
4 large eggs
2 tablespoons finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese (1/2 ounce)

Position the oven rack in the upper third of the oven and preheat to 450°F. Prepare an ice-water bath by filling a large bowl with ice and water.

To cook the fresh spinach, heat 1/2 inch water in a large skillet over high heat. Add half the spinach and cook until wilted, about 30 seconds. Add the remaining spinach, cover, and cook over medium-high heat until tender, about 60 seconds. Drain well in a colander, then set the colander with spinach in the ice-water bath to set the color and stop the cooking, making sure the spinach is submerged. Remove the colander with spinach to drain.Working with a handful at a time, squeeze the freshly cooked, or thawed frozen, spinach between two dinner plates or by hand to remove any excess liquid.

Set aside. In the same skillet, heat the butter over medium heat. Add the onion and cook until translucent, 3 to 5 minutes. Increase the heat to medium-high, add the mushrooms, and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and any liquid is released, about 4 minutes. Add the garlic and cook until fragrant, 45 to 60 seconds. Add the cream, nutmeg, and spinach. Season with salt and pepper and bring to a simmer.

Remove the pan from the heat. Using the back of a spoon, make 4 nests in the spinach-cream mixture in the skillet. Break an egg into each indentation. Season the eggs with salt and pepper and sprinkle with the cheese. Bake until the whites are set and the yolks are still runny, about 8 minutes. Serve immediately.

Weekly Recipes - Nathan

Day 1: Corn Chowder http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/corn-chowder Bread dish to go with soup http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/pumpernickel-with-avocado-charred-corn-and-tomato Day 2: Two potato pizza http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/two-potato-flatbread-with-olives-and-feta Day 3: Spaghetti with Sundried tomato pesto http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/spaghetti-with-sun-dried-tomato-almond-pesto Day 4: Spicy Thai coconut chicken soup http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/spicy-thai-coconut-chicken-soup-50400000118583

Recipes - Heather

Had to put in one soup/stew...so great this time of year http://www.williams-sonoma.com/m/recipe/lentil-stew-with-smoked-turkey-and-sweet-potatoes.html I thought the savory galette sounded good...you could substitute anything or add anything if mushrooms aren't your thing ;) veggies...cheese...cubed chicken breast..whatever http://www.williams-sonoma.com/m/recipe/mushroom-and-stilton-galette.html You can adjust to whatever u want inside... http://www.williams-sonoma.com/m/recipe/buckwheat-crepes-with-corn-and-roasted-poblano-chilies.html Pair with smashed red potatoes and veggie? http://www.williams-sonoma.com/m/recipe/balsamic-braised-chicken.html Curry has been sounding good... http://www.williams-sonoma.com/m/recipe/indian-vegetable-curry.html Sent from my iPhone

My favorite Christmas story

Six To Eight Black Men by David Sedaris (Dutch Xmas Story)

I've never been much for guidebooks, so when trying to get my bearings in some strange American city, I normally start by asking the cabdriver or hotel clerk some silly question regarding the latest census figures. I say silly because I don't really how many people live in Olympia, Washington or Columbus, Ohio. They're nice enough places, but the numbers mean nothing to me. My second question might have to do with the average annual rainfall, which, again, doesn't tell me anything about the people who have chosen to call this place home.

What really interests me are the local gun laws. Can I carry a concealed weapon and, if so, under what circumstances? What's the waiting period for a tommy gun? Could I buy a Glock 17 if I were recently divorced or fired from my job? I've learned from experience that its best to lead into this subject as delicately as possible, especially if you and the local citizen are alone and enclosed in a relatively small area. Bide your time, though, and you can walk away with some excellent stories. I've learned, for example, that the blind can legally hunt in both Texas and Michigan. In Texas they must be accompanied by a sighted companion, but I heard that in Michigan theyre allowed to go it alone, which raises the question: How do they find whatever it is they just shot? In addition to that, how do they get it home? Are the Michigan blind allowed to drive as well? I ask about guns not because I want one of my own but because the answers vary so widely from state to state. In a country thats become increasingly homogeneous, I'm reassured by these last charming touches or regionalism.

Firearms arent really an issue in Europe, so when travelling abroad, my first question usually relates to barnyard animals. "What do your roosters say?" is a good ice breaker, as every country has its own unique interpretation. In Germany, where dogs bark "vow vow" and both the frog and the duck say "quack," the roosters crow "kiri-a-kee," and in France the scream "coco-rico," which sounds like one of those horrible pre-mixed cocktails with a pirate on the label. When told that an American rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," my hosts look at me with disbelief and pity.

"When do you open your Christmas presents?" is another good conversation starter, as I think it explains a lot about national character. People who traditionally open gifts on Christmas Eve seem a bit more pious and family-oriented than those who wait until Christmas morning. They go to Mass, open presents, eat a late meal, return to church the following morning, and devote the rest of the day to eating another big meal. Gifts are generally reserved for children, and the parents tend not to go overboard. Its nothing I'd want for myself, but I suppose its fine for those who prefer food and family to things of real value.

In France and Germany gifts are exchanged on Christmas Eve, while in the Netherlands the children open their presents on December 5, in celebration of St. Nicholas Day. It sounded soft of quaint until I spoke to a man named Oscar, who filled me in on a few of the details as we walked from my hotel to the Amsterdam train station.

Unlike the jolly, obese American Santa, Saint Nicholas is painfully thin and dresses not unlike the pope, topping his robes with a tall hat resembling an embroidered tea cozy. The outfit, I was told, is a carryover from his former career, when he served as the bishop of Turkey.

"I'm sorry," I said, "but could you repeat that?"

One doesn't want to be too much of a cultural chauvinist, but this seemed completely wrong to me. For starters, Santa didn't anything. He's not retired and, more important, he has nothing to do with Turkey. Its too dangerous there and the people wouldn't appreciate him. When asked how he got from Turkey to the North Pole, Oscar told me with complete conviction that Saint Nicholas currently resides in Spain, which again is simply not true. Though he could probably live wherever he wanted, Santa chose the North Pole specifically because it is harsh and isolated. No one can spy on him, and he doesn't have to worry about people coming to the door. Anyone can come to the door in Spain, and in that outfit hed most certainly be recognized. On top of that, aside from a few pleasantries, Santa doesnt speak Spanish. "Hello. How are you? Can I get you some candy?" Fine. He knows enough to get by, but he's not fluent and he certainly doesnt eat tapas.

While our Santa flies on a sled, the Dutch version arrives by boat and then transfers to a white horse. The event is televised, and great crowds gather at the waterfront to greet him. I'm not sure if there's a set date, but he generally docks in late November and spends a few weeks hanging out asking people what they want.

"Is it just him alone?" I asked. "Or does he come with some backup?"

Oscar's English was close to perfect, but he seemed thrown by a term normally reserved for police reinforcement.

"Helpers," I said. "Does he have any elves?"

Maybe I'm overly sensitive, but I couldnt help but feel personally insulted when Oscar denounced the very idea as grotesque and unrealistic. "Elves," he said. "They are just so silly."

The words were redefined when I learned that Saint Nicolas travels with what was consistently described as six to eight black men. I asked several Dutch people to narrow it down, but none of them could give me an exact number. It was always six to eight, which seems strange, seeing as theyve had hundreds of years to get an accurate head count.

The six to eight black men were characterized as personal slaves until the mid 1950s, when the political climate changed and it was decided that instead of being slaves they were just good friends. I think that history has proved that something usually comes slavery and friendship, a period of time marked not by cookies and quiet hours beside the fire but by bloodshed and mutual hostility. They have such violence in the Netherlands, but rather than duking it out amongst themselves, Santa and his former slaves decided to take it out on the public. In the early years if a child was naughty, Saint Nicholas and the six to eight black men would beat him with what Oscar described as the small branch of a tree.

"A switch?"

"Yes," he said, "Thats it. Theyd kick him and beat him with a switch. Then if the youngster was really bad, theyd put him in a sack and take him back to Spain."

"Saint Nicholas would do what?"

"Well, not anymore," Oscar said. "Now he just to kick you."

He considered this to be progressive, but in a way I think it's almost more perverse that the original punishment. "I'm going to hurt you but not really." How many times have we fallen for that line? The fake slap invariably makes contact, adding the elements of shock and betrayal to what had previously been plain old-fashioned fear. What kind of a Santa spends his time pretending to kick people before stuffing them into a canvas sack? Then, of course, youve got the six to eight former slaves who could potentially go off at any moment. This, I think, is the greatest difference between us and the Dutch. While a certain segment of our population might be perfectly happy with the arrangement, if you told the average white American that six to eight nameless black men would be sneaking into his house in the middle of the night, he would barricade the doors and arm himself with whatever he could get his hands on.

"What did you say?"

In the years before central heating, Dutch children would leave their shoes by the fireplace, the promise being that unless they planned to beat you, kick you, or stuff you into a sack, Saint Nicholas and the six to eight black men would fill your clogs with presents. Aside from the threats of violence and kidnapping, it's not much different than hanging your stockings from the mantel. Now that so few people actually have a working fireplace, Dutch children are instructed to leave their shoes beside the radiator, furnace, or space heater. Saint Nicholas and the six to eight black men arrive on horses, which jump from the yard onto the roof. At this point I guess they either jump back down and use the door or stay put and vaporize through pipes and electrical cords. Oscar wasn't too clear about the particulars, but really, who can blame him? We have the same problem with our Santa. He's supposed to use the chimney, but if you don't have one, he still manages to get in. It's not best to think about it too hard.

While eight flying reindeer are a hard pill to swallow, our Christmas story remains relatively dull. Santa lives with his wife in a remote polar village and spends one night a year travelling around the world. If youre bad, he leaves you coal. If youre good and live in America, hell give you just about anything you want. We tell our children to be good and send them off to bed, where they lie awake, anticipating their great bounty. A Dutch parent has a decidedly harrier story to relate, telling his children, "Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey will be coming tonight along with six to eight black men. They might stuff you into a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't know for sure, but we want you to be prepared."

This is the reward for living in the Netherlands. As a child you get to hear this story, and as an adult you get to turn around and repeat it. As an added bonus, the government has thrown in legalized drugs and prostitution - so what's to love about being Dutch?

Oscar finished his story just as we arrived at the station. He was a polite and interesting guy - very good company but when he offered to wait until my train arrived I begged off, claiming I had some calls to make. Sitting alone in the vast, vibrant terminal, surrounded by thousands of polite, seemingly interesting Dutch people, I couldnt help but feel second-rate. Yes, the Netherlands was a small country, but it had six to eight black men and a really good bedtime story. Being a fairly competitive person, I felt jealous, then bitter. I was edging toward hostile when I remembered the blind hunter tramping off alone into the Michigan forest. He may bag a deer, or he may happily shoot a camper in the stomach. He may find his way back to the car, or he may wander around for a week or two before stumbling through your back door. We dont know for sure, but in pinning that license to his chest, he inspires the sort of narrative that ultimately makes me proud to be an American.